oh.. and I might be moving. which is very exciting to me.. but it's only just a thought these days.. hoping to become a reality sometime in the next 6 months.

June 18, 2007

I haven’t got the energy to write really. I did take a nap today, but I used the recharged brain power on editing an article I have quite literally been writing since February. I think it’s finally done. I would read it and bore myself so it needed work! Ha. I was inspired to do it tonight because I sent a draft copy to Martin in Mumias and basically my overt fawning over his amazing work means the rest of the team feel jilted (more on this later). In reworking the piece I put in some lip service to the dedicated leadership of the assessment program. I’ve never really done well respecting work hierarchies.

I had my palm read yesterday. It was a fairly gutting experience. Fortunately I was just finishing up Benjamin Hoff’s “The Te of Piglet” and I thought his words on Taoism were particularly useful for me as a coping strategy!! Ha. Okay I exaggerate, but only slightly. When Surreal got to Danielle’s palm he said “this one is much better!”

In a nutshell, I have a temper (well Brenda does mean ‘firebrand’ or something like that) I need to control –and wearing a brown sapphire will help me with this – I suck at relationships and will continue to keep leaving them, I should chant the guard three mantra 100x each morning which will have a very positive effect on my body and increase my success (? I think.. sun line), I am prone to diabetes and need to take care of my health in my 40’s reducing sugar and alcohol consumption, and to conclude if I “feel salty.. try cold water”! On my head was the implication. The bright side I will always have lots of friends.

The Taoists are all about transforming the negative into positive.. and like that wonderful story in Jon Muth’s “Zen Shorts” what appears bad may be good. Good may be bad.

So. Where am I? In Machakos.

Last night was spent in Kitui. We did some classroom visits and are now at the Lysak Hotel which has the feel of an upmarket trailer park. The district training starts tomorrow and we will be here until Thursday afternoon. Danielle – a volunteer speechie from Chicago- is with me for the month. Immediate plans -- We head to Nakuru Friday to catch up with the lovely Sofia, then onto Kisumu for Siaya’s district training next week. I still haven’t written about Mwingi.. and I wanted to tell about a most fabulous Ethiopian meal I had Saturday night, but alas… bed beckons (actually I have been in it for hours now, but I’m going to sleep). B xx

Abbie – this is for you. August. Training in Kitui. Week 3. Sign language in the morning, speech and language in the afternoon. More soon.

June 10, 2007
Who steals my days and tucks them into the crevices of my brain as mere memories? I’m constantly in shock, physical shock at the date.

I am in Kassarani tonight. I am staying at the Sports View Hotel and as I had John drop me off before taking my friends home across the field I wondered why I had decided to stay here and not at Sarah and Tanya’s! CDEP (Children with Disabilities Empowerment Project) is going into its 4th year so there is a week long planning meeting with all the primary and secondary districts. I was invited to join in proceedings and did so today though I will leave tomorrow for Mwingi.
Mike Terry the other VSO speechie in Kenya is coming with me and we are getting a ride from a VSO driver in a car. Relative luxury! We’ll be back Wednesday afternoon though.

This is a complete aside- There is a woman .. Wambui.. that works for VSO and she is my hero. She has been working with VSO and the ministries of this and that for years and years and years. I have seen her name on old school meeting reports.. anyway she is here, and I love her. She can explain everything. Why thing are done the way they are, which things are cultural, which are because of the government, which are inexcusable.. it’s fantastic. I now know that the Ministry of Education condones sitting stipends for conferences because they know they pay teachers so poorly and its one way to infuse their salary and get them to additional trainings! Anyway today after a presentation Wambui called this women out about all sorts of issues she had in a way I have previously not seen before. Usually I find at workshops people say lots of nice meaningless things but Wambui cut the crap and was all business. She wants to run the best project possible, and I think she is amazing. I am so glad to be a part of this work when I meet her. All the districts are here actually so it is nice to see the people you are working with come together in one room.

Anyway. This weekend. In a weird moment I decided to come to Nairobi a day early, and because I am so sick of Easy Coach taking 9 hours I thought I would come on a shuttle (just a newer mildly fancier version of a matatu). It was fine. The waiting 75 minutes for it to fill was making me anxious because I didn’t want to arrive in Nairobi in the dark, but other than that I think it is much more convenient than the stupid bus which moves at the pace of a one legged grandmother. One of the other participants at this workshop was complaining about the journey. He said “I am so exhausted after I have spent all those hours dancing around in the back of the bus.” It’s a bit like that. But I got here.

Sunday I went to Village Market the mzungu enclave for United Nations and American Embassy families. It was all that you would expect.

So here I am. Tonight. Crossed legged on bed in pyjamas. Was looking for the Nairobi news of the bombing today but all I can get on my TV in the room is the Al Jazeer network and they don’t have news for another hour. I was actually downtown today for dinner. Fede is leaving Kenya tonight which is sad as he was always enjoyable company. Tanya, Sarah, Fede, Mike and I met for Chinese and Tanya made the farewell appropriately teary and dramatic. I am such a hard hearted Harriet. It makes me think I need to excavate my emotional core.

So… this is my update. About as exciting as a plate of ugali. Sorry. Right now I work, sleep and when I am staying with Sarah and Tanya I giggle to myself in the kitchen (per them!). That’s all. B xx

June 4, 2007 - How on earth can it be June already?

Whenever I read anything by Mem Fox I want to change my life. I quite literally find my mind churning about everything I have ever read, or written. I ponder my teaching strategies and the way I am training adults and I want to overhaul the whole lot. Do the people I am working with know that I think what I do is important? They need to know and should know by the way I act says Mem Fox (more or less!).

I am in the midst of Ishmael Beah’s “A Long Way Gone” and while I like his writing and I think the book pretty much reads itself, it’s depressing. It is really, really depressing. I fell asleep mid chapter in Mumias and had a yakky dream about it and I was none too pleased. In case you haven’t caught the Starbucks hype about this book it is written by an ex-boy soldier in Sierra Leone.

Last night I was exhausted. I wanted to go to bed, I wanted to read, but the thought of that book actually made report writing seem like a pleasure. So I left Beah in the spare room and snuggled down with Mem’s “Radical Reflections. Passionate opinions on teaching, learning and living.” It’s been a long time since I read Mem’s adult stuff, but it’s a treat. She just gets so excited about what she does and loves teaching children to read so much that I can’t but help think I should be doing more. I am bored with the district trainings, and no doubt this is affecting my delivery to teachers, which in turn affects their learning and the way they might approach their class the following week. I think it might be time to shake things up a bit. Ha!

The participatory approach we use isn’t always well received, and I think part of the reason is because we aren’t having fun with it. It’s an approach designed to engage learners and get discussion going. Unfortunately the formality that it is being presented with is stifling. I am just so sick of presenting the same information in the same way, I am hardly inspiring the other facilitators to consider their methods or these teachers to provide language rich environments in fun and novel ways. So, I am going to change some of the sessions up because variety is the spice of life. Also the last session is consistently cut short because of the closing remarks and certificate presentations. I’m going to revise the way we do day 3. I’m going to make it fun and energetic even if I have to fake it. I’m in Kakamega and Vihiga this week. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Hi. Sorry about the lack of communication both on my blog and email. I am busy. Busy and tired. My predominant states. But I am well. I know Nairobi is taking a bit of a hit in the media.. but I continue on my way. To Mwingi tomorrow. I have a blog entry to upload, just can't manage to access my zip from this computer. Soon. b xx

Hello. My attempts at getting caught up this weekend were thwarted. Friday I spent the entire day and better part of the evening writing and uplaoding an article for Young Child Magazine.. and since then.. hhhm. Nothing.

Kisumu isn't a great place to be right now. Thursday night 7 armed robbers held up a guest house in my neighborhood slashing the throat of the security guard and raping a guest. The whole ordeal lasted 2 hours apparently until the police came in and killed all the bandits.

Friday night I went out for Indian with friends. Vica decided to go home, but I went out for drinks with the boys. When I called Pascal our tuk-tuk driver to come and get us about an hour after he picked Vica up the conversation went something like this:
"Hi Pascal"
"mwjewjgfvsf,gnsljg"
"Pascal, I can't really hear you. We are at Kengeles can you come and pick us up?"
"BRENDA"
"yes"
"YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME BRENDA. WE WERE ROBBED"
"oh"

Apparently, (and just let me interject there is a much longer and more convoluted version to this story) early Friday night some armed people stole a car and had been going around picking people up as if a cab and robbing/beating them. This same taxi was trailing the tuk-tuk Vica was is and when Pascal slowed they cut it off in front and held them up. Becuase Pascal got out of the tuk-tuk and started yelling, nearby security responded by blowing whistles and the men jumped back in the vehicle and drove away, leaving behind someone who had been beaten and trapped in the boot for the last 2 hours and was apparently the owner of the car?? Anyway. Not good. Thank god for my drinking habit. Vica is fine, but they got her passport which is a little tragic seeing as she was supposed to leave the country yesterday. Then apparently Saturday (also in my neighborhood) a few cops were shot. Super.

With 5 of the 20 district trainings done, I am looking forward to being able to stay in my house this week while I support Kakamega and Vihiga. I'll leave again next weekend.

LAst week I did get some letters written, so hallelujah.. check your mail boxes in about a month.. you may be a lucky recipient. ha. tired, me. x

May 29, 2007
I am in Mumias. I love Mumias. No idea why. Anyway.. backing up.

Yesterday I went to the doctor. She prescribed me cough medicine. I wondered if it might be allergies, she prescribed me allergy medicine (a whole 5 days worth). I said, “you know, I only called because I have had this for a month and my friends are teasing me about tuberculosis” (P: “it would be funny if I caught a third world disease from a white girl.” me: “hilarious”). So the doctor decided I should have a sputum test, an arm stick and a chest x-ray. Not in any particular order mind. All three. At my leisure. I assumed that the coughing up chunks of phlegm into small vials would be enough but no. She even gave me three empty film containers for my samples which was very kind of her. I’m not in Kisumu for 3 straight days in a row until late July so we’ll see. I think it’s just a perseverative cold. I have also thought it was lactose intolerance. And then I wondered if I just coughed when I got over excited. Ha!

Anyway, I traveled to Kakamega yesterday afternoon to meet with the EARC team there. Of course there are issues with money from the Ministry of Education so there are issues with funds for the training. Apparently the secondary district EARCs were only given 10,000 ksh (< $US150) to run a three day workshop for 20 people (100,000 shillings is a more realistic figure when you factor in travel allowance, meals, materials etc.) My understanding was they were getting 70,000 ksh. I had a very small rant. It was minute. Then I headed to Mumias.

This morning I arrived at the assessment center at 8 as directed. 30 minutes later we headed over and it occurred to me that the training was scheduled to start at 8. Nice. At the pace of a melting iceberg (though I guess these things are happening much faster these days with global warming and all..) the participants and facilitators gathered in the one room. The training began.

Now. I have to report that Mumias is one of the leading EARCs for all sorts of reasons. They are competent, knowledgeable, and my expectations were high. In all honesty though, I have no idea what they did with their training money. They didn’t copy participant manuals, all the supplies they have I gave to Martin at the conclusion of the Nairobi workshop and no one is staying at a hotel. In addition, instead of providing meals they are giving participants money for lunch. Which means, no one eats. I know they got their full amount of money because they got their cash from VSO so its something I will have to talk with them about. On top of all this, the training is being held in a school classroom which if it wasn’t noisy enough has a pitiful half drowned kitten mewling outside of it.

The training is going well though. The participants are active and they get it when I make a joke! Martin and Sellar are both prepared and able to respond appropriately to comments and questions. Half way through jeopardy (our end of day review) though it began to rain. It was unbelievable. The noise was so loud, no-one could be heard, so we quit the game and then sat there in silence while water seeped down the walls, blew through the holes where windows ought to be and tip-tapped through the ceiling. It was so noisy we couldn’t work, but so stormy we couldn’t leave. When the rain abated we all fled home or to somewhere more hospitable. Martin and I went to tea.

So. Here I am. On my hospital issue single bed at the St. Mary’s Guest House. I am tired beyond belief but attempting to slog through some of my computer work. Fortunately it’s a three day weekend so I can catch up on reports then. I am sequestering myself. I heard on the radio that there will be a dip in temperatures tonight. Kisumu will even get down to 17 degrees celcius. I love that this is considered a cold spell.

May 30, 2007
Lately I have been getting text messages from a boy that is far away. Only his English isn’t very good so the sentiments seem like poetry (a little abstract, with delightful but novel phrasing). Someone else I know, greets me with sweet endearments (“bunny” I mean really?). But I like it. I really like it. All of it. Of course I do.. it makes me feel thoroughly girlie. What’s more, as I enjoy being wooed with ridiculous lines, as a result I find myself writing excruciatingly wet texts .. let’s see “it’s rainy in Mumias (no pun intended). And in my heart to be so far away.” Good god, who am I?

So I was discussing this all with a friend of mine recently. We were mulling over the delights of males who use flowery language (Kenyan men would seem to excel at this.. combined with flattery). This friend told me that she dated a man for much longer than she should of because he wrote poems for and about her. Long and descriptive stanzas about the way the way she walked down the street, how he felt when he saw her, and why she was the light of his life (even though he was a complete jerk). She typed them all up and bound them, and resisted the temptation to dump him in continuing hopes of more love in rhyme. We thought about all this and decided that while the words might not all be sincere, they were probably true at the time, if even for only the briefest of moments and that’s what made it all so captivating. Hope and romance meet reality for a light lunch.

Given our responses (and I realize I am generalizing on an n of 2 here) I wonder why the average American male is so averse to this kind of thing? Women it would seem love it, and there is very little competition in the sweet word arena. It doesn’t even require much imagination, just the willingness to potentially embarrass yourself (and what girl would be foolish enough to shun your efforts?)!

I just finished Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood and the heroine secretly writes period romances and feels that she has the fantasy life every woman wants. But if every woman wants a romantic fantasy life, why haven’t more men realized they just need to suck it up and utter a few sweet bullshit lines every now and then? Wouldn’t it work to their advantage? Make their life easier? Psychologists say if you fake happy, your brain doesn’t realize and responds as if you are happy, so in the same vein of thinking, if you tell a girl she is beautiful like the moon reflected in the ocean, she will feel this way, act this way and in turn will be seen this way. Ha. What do you think?

Regardless, I think it wouldn’t hurt if more boys just said more nice things.