This is out of order (I am going to upload Monday's post now) because yesterday I lost my zip drive in my purse.

Last night was my worst night. No. That's a vast exaggeration. It was a swamp of heightened emotion set off by my day, followed by a crazy crazy story that is not mine to share (new rule) and my proximity to it all and capped off nicely with a very real conversation about the possibility of being raped in my home. A chat I could have done with out. My favorite part of the conversation was "if you believe that so you can sleep better at night..." Yes actually. I do. And now I will wake up when every friggin dog barks and person walks past and window bangs and all those other sounds that make up the cacophony of the night. It was well meaning, I was just in a tail spin.

I have spent the day in Vihiga. Assessing kids. "Mild mental impairment" says one, "she didn't walk until she was 6, she didn't stand until she was 4, she doesn't speak, probably not mild" says me. "mild speech and language disorder" says one. "mild nothing" says I. At least in Kisumu we have placement options. In Vihiga they don't refer to the special school because you have to pay fees. I don't know what happened to the free primary school for all in that district! It's so frustrating "this one, this one can learn" says two. "Of course he can, we can all learn" says I. Anyway.. I agreed to do a special workshop for their distance learners who are becoming special education teachers "for the pay raise" per three. "They've never seen a learning disabled child." Whatever. They picked the one open week before the term ends. Lucky them. Lucky me. Seeing as they are paying for their own transportation to get there. I'll even spring for tea.

February 26, 2007 – Melissa’s Birthday Hooray.

I bet you are just dying to know what I had for dinner tonight.. and so I will tell you.. diced carrot, green pepper, garlic and onion sautéed with kidney beans and served with hot sauce and a handful of cooked rice. Delicious. As I am sure I have mentioned before I do like the process of shopping and preparing meals. Tomorrow I even have someone coming for dinner. He even promised to play Scrabble.

I fear this is all becoming rather trite, so I am going to write about a rather exciting project I may focus on in August during the school holidays when Mira and Abbie are around.

As you might recall I was at Pistis Academy in Nakuru last week visiting the Early Childhood teachers I’d worked with this summer when I remembered my manners and went to greet the Head Teacher Leonard (typically this is the very first thing you should do when entering a school). We had a discussion about developmentally appropriate practices (ha!) and why pre-K teaching looks different from older classes, and why they need more consumable materials (e.g. markers and paper) so on and so forth. Anyway, the conversation meandered and Leonard told me he had been loaned/given a house (?) and he didn’t want to live there because it was far from the school so he had decided to start what he calls Mbugani Center for Vulnerable Girls (Mbugani means forest or clearing.. something woody??). Anyway he envisions an informal school for girls who have had to leave the education system due to other responsibilities, money or other miscellaneous reasons. He hopes to get them involved in income-generating activities and start a women’s co-op as I understand it. I asked him if he planned to include young mums and babies, and said I would definitely be interested in being involved. I also said I would help write grants, and gave him some possible leads through Nakuru’s assessment centers. I suggested he email Sofia who is also going to be back in Kenya next summer. How very very exciting.

My current development philosophy is.. I will do whatever I am asked to do and help where ever I can. But if the request doesn’t come from a Kenyan, forget about it. From what I have heard, projects that aren’t inspired by the locals who are here long term and an intrinsic part of the community are just a waste of time and money. The projects are just not.. and here comes the buzz word.. sustainable. Which brings me to a little story.. I was having a fish sandwich in a café in town and reading my book when I noticed this very excited muzungu telling a Kenyan all about this plan he had to get all these community people to come together and buy motor bikes. He had done the math, they would save money on transportation… it was all a very logical. I wondered about parts and maintenance and went back to my book.. (because it’s really a recommendably good read). My understanding of these things is that it is hard to conceive of all the (real and imagined) difficulties and problems you are likely to encounter in a culture, in a town you are only vaguely familiar with, and Kenyan’s won’t displease, discourage or disagree if they can avoid it. It is just so very easy to be blinded by your own enthusiasm for an idea. It’s definitely my M.O. in Chicago (it’s why I recognize it so quickly), but typically back home there is a whole lot less time, money and more importantly hope at stake.

Now I am all for grand optimistic plans and projects and I am willing to support anything my local colleagues are eager enough or mad enough to attempt. It’s really about ownership.. this is not the time in my life for Brenda motivated programming.. I’ll save all my inspirational mayhem to unleash on Chicago Public Schools or some other community based/low resource organization where the need is nearly as great, but everyone’s expectations are so low that they anticipates things will be a catastrophic waste of everyone’s time and money.

So.. my week unfolds and promises to be fairly dull, which I welcome. All our schools/community based rehab groups are writing proposals. I think I missed something.. maybe they are requesting money from VSO?? I have no idea. I am chugging along in my own little current.. I need to write 30 hours of speech and language training. Unfortunately the deadline is still too far away (March 19th) to motivate the mental juices and get me writing.. Franklin or Covey or some one (who is the famous planner/date book guy?) says doing things when they are due is bad. However.. anything before that is likely to be tepid.

Although I took a jumbo nap this afternoon I am to bed. It’s raining and my crisp white sheets beckon. I’m sleeping in the spare room for a change of scenery. Or maybe I just like having two bedrooms.

So a crazy thing happened on the way to the forum.. (well town really.. I just wanted to use that line).

I was walking along the track behind the school, working on being present and minding my own business. Walking I might add because I was told by my coordinator I look "bigger today" and Silas added that you could see my shape (this is the first time I have ever come to work wearing trousers)!!! Anyway, none too flattered I headed to town and I see these children and they start running away, except for one who has dropped to the ground and is squealing and I notice he is holding onto the end of a snapped electricity cable. I mean. Excuse the simplemindedness of me... but all I could think was 'I can't believe this'

I grabbed a branch and try and help the boy (who is still screaming) separate himself from the wire... which he does and then he just gets up and runs off. It was surreal. I stood there, tree limb in hand and had this strange conversation with two adults who were present about this wire. They didn't understand. The guy told me he thought the child was being beaten. Great. And in conclusion. You know what we did about it? Nothing. I did nothing. But the thing was, I had enough faith in the scientific principle that wood does not conduct electricity when there was a child attached to the wire, but without that there was no way I was going to attempt to relocate it. So I left in shock, but now I wonder is it only a matter of time before the next child plays with it.. why didn't I move it off the path????

So I have spent the time since reflecting on the brevity and transient nature of life. A frequent thought pattern for me lately... and the reason why I have taken to telling everyone I love them recently. Phil thinks 'I love you' tends towards meaningless nonsense (here I go misquoting him again) and believes it is in actions not words. And while I agree, I think you should still tell people, becuase what if that's your electricity wire.. and what if the current is considerably stronger than it is in Kenya.. I'd still want to have said it.

The things is, on the bus with Jason the other day I actually said look at how low those electricity wires are hanging.. and the only reason I knew that you had to separate the child from the wire with a stick is because at Livingstone Primary School in 4th grade we actually had a lesson on this very scenario. I can't believe that just happened.

Furthermore in Nanyuki, Claire and I decided that after death by motor vehicle accident, we were most likely to die by being electrocuted in the shower. In the kinds of classy establishments we stay in, the shower head is connected to an electric charge that heats the water.. it's a questionnable arrangement at best. Perhaps one should shower in clogs?

So on a cheerier note. No. I don't have a cheerier note today. Holy fucking shit. That was one lucky kid. I'm just so glad he didn't die. I don't even know, can you give CPR to someone who has been electrocuted?

February 25th, 2007

It is raining today. Belgian style, dreary rain. I have actually donned a long sleeved top. Not because it’s necessary, but because I can wear it without sweltering. I am annoyed this morning, and have been directing said emotion at the unsuspecting ants (perhaps it will be noticeable in my written tone?). The cause of my irritation is as follows.. I went to bed after a lovely dinner and much wine, woke at midnight feeling a mite thirsty and made the dreaded, dreaded mistake (because I wish I didn’t have this knowledge) of opening my cabinet to get a glass. And there they were .. a roach party. I haven’t seen them in so long, and now I know where they go. The thing is I can’t Doom the cabinet where I keep my food and dishes. Smart bastards. I got one, who was feasting on my rolls through the plastic bag. I thumped him on the ground and sprayed him, but bugger... I could have lived peacefully without this information. The things is, I suspect they don’t actually live there, no it’s the play ground. Uuurgh. Villans.

So. It’s Sunday. I have spent my weekend tied to my computer working on a language rich preschool science program for Leap and preparing delightful meals with local produce. I made pancakes yesterday morning (I’m inspired to listen to that Jack Johnson song), next time I’ll put stewed apple into the batter Scandanavian style because that’s my favorite. Oh and I am officially no longer losing weight. Blasted.

Some thoughts:

* It takes very little to get a large group of Kenyan’s dancing even mid-afternoon. I could do with more spontaneous boogie-ing in my life. I may have to start having my own private dance parties in the aqua house (reminiscent of living with Sam perhaps? She had a good apartment for impromptu celebration –and a view that prompted it. There were several evenings of throwing our limbs around her living room..).

* There is some sort of cash for plastic bag agreement in this place so that no matter what you purchase someone always wants to bag it. Perhaps it legitimizes the transaction. Yesterday morning I went to my front gate and bought a single egg from my housekeeper’s stall and she wanted to know why I didn’t want a bag. I had a conversation with the bagger at the supermarket (because I always take my canvas shopping bag -which I love because it’s signed by children’s author Mo Willems) and since then I suspect that supermarket bags are a bit of a status thing, mainly because they symbolize you can afford the supermarket, whose prices are similar to the US really. Anyway, as a result, the rubbish – a plethora of these bags- doesn’t decompose and recent research shows they become breeding grounds for mosquitos. Just what this region needs. (I am as annoyed with the mozzies as I am with the roaches and ants)

* I was perusing this boy’s blog http://potashke.blogspot.com(the guy from the bar in Nairobi.. who I might add sent a very good first email… I love a smart and witty correspondence) and it got me thinking. He made a comment: ‘don’t come to Africa, just send money’ and I just have to say, that it is the most ridiculous advice I have ever heard. The money would end up in the first wealthy persons treasury, in which case you would be better to take yourself out for a swank dinner and REALLY ENJOY it. I wouldn’t send any money anywhere unless I knew exactly who was managing it and even then, it’s so hard to get the right things to the right people when it is externally motivated. Look at the examples of trying to give out mosquito nets. Even if the middle man doesn’t sell them, the people whose kids really need them do. The value of the net, is greater to them than the value of malaria prevention. I say this entirely without judgement.

Someone said to me the other day that “the new government (when it’s elected) will stamp out corruption” and I said that “just wasn’t true”. People embezzle at every level. Accountability is really a problem, and because there is no corporate mentality here (which can be a good thing) the checks they have to put in place to keep everything transparent is tiresome and makes management inefficient. Things just seem to disappear. It is understandable given that most people have so very little. But it always comes back to the question.. what is up with this continent? China has had corruption issues, China has an HIV/AIDS problem, but a completely different social/political/economic climate. I know I am posing simplistic questions, and the answers are long and detailed and available in books far more interesting than this blog perhaps, but I have to say this now.. my brain is just too full for sensible reading. I will get there one day, when I am living, perhaps, a more mundane existence.

* Today I am skipping the pool and plan on working on a presentation proposal for ASHA (American Speech and Hearing Association) in Boston in November. Three speech and language projects in Africa (Kenya, Swaziland, Zambia).. the climate is right within the organization for interest in professional contributions overseas. I am going to present my CDEP project, the volunteers for this summer can talk about St. Joseph’s and another VSO speechie in Zambia can present her work. Laura- fancy doing the intro session? I’m writing you in. We’ll wait and see if it’s accepted and then work on travel funding! I’m sure I can rustle up some qualitative data. I am also applying to ASHA’s leadership development program, so doesn’t that sound like a fun filled day.

Alright. Enough dribble. This week I am in Kisumu (Vihiga for their assessment day Wednesday) and will blog.. about work once more. Salama. B xx

p.s. learned about a very very cool project in Nakuru that is in the brewing stages. will write about it, and my visit there soon. Or did I do that already?? hmmm.

February 21, 2007

I am so so so excited about my work. This day finds me extraordinarily ebullient. I had a meeting in Nairobi and it was good. I feel so energized and organized and know what needs to be done.

If you have ever read Ruiz’ “The Four Agreements” one of the tenets is about poisoning other people’s perspective. In other words (and this is highly oversimplified) giving your opinion so that before someone even has a chance to meet a person/place they have been given an impression that may or may not be particularly favorable. Dave pointed out to me that I do this all the time and I have resolved to stop.. but I digress. I bring this all up because I think the negative feelings I was beginning to harbor about the administration of the project I am working on were a direct result of someone else’s relationship issues, which I need to stay out of.. because truthfully the response I got today (and have received in past meetings) was great. I think there are going to be scheduling issues at times, and I am going to be pulled in Nairobi when I would prefer to be in my little aqua house, BUT it is all well within my realm of flexibility.

So.. yay. I have a very good and comprehensive work plan to roll out through late November. It will be busy, but fun. There is also a new speech therapist that arrived in town… I haven’t met him yet, but I hope to recruit him to help me facilitate my 5 day training at the end of March. Can I say how excited I am? Leap has trained me so bloody well.. I am eternally thankful for that. I feel like the national training and the district trainings will really get us in good stead for all the classroom visits. I feel so excited I could burst. Ha.

Last night I came back to Nairobi and stayed with Tanya and Sarah in Kasserani (or as Tanya calls is “kassa-stinkin’-rani”)??? They work for the Kenya Institute of Special Education; Tanya works in assessment, Sarah is an autism trainer as far as I understand. They also have a spare room which I suspect I will become quite familiar with. Sarah has agreed to also help facilitate my National speech and language training which rocks my socks.

So. I am headed to Nakuru right now. I am going to visit the ECD room I worked in this summer.

Early Childhood- my one true love – trainings will hopefully be rolled out in 2008. I am working on a proposal and I’m curious about the sustainability. I am a buzz with ideas.

Now if only I could get mum, dad, Melissa, Thomas, Jamie, Phil, Steph, Bev, John Lybolt, Amy, Jen, Julie, Cara, perhaps Greg Barter, definitely Dave, certainly Liz Evans, and a whole bunch of other people I love (and their loved ones of course.. ) to move to Kisumu life would be perfect. Ha.

February 19th, 2007

Well here I am in Nanyuki. We haven’t had electricity for about 12 hours so I am facing a very cold shower. I am filthy though, so there is no getting around it. This district is incredibly beautiful and I have had a lovely visit so far.

But let me go back. It’s easier for me to write chronologically it seems.

Saturday I arrived in Nairobi and met Claire and a Dutch speech therapist Lynn. They both belong to Special Education Professionals (SEP) an organization based out of Nairobi that I intend to join. Every third Saturday of the month there are assessment days so I will plan to make about 6 a year when my travel schedule finds me in the central districts. Anyway, I met them for ice-cream and then Claire and I headed to her home in Westlands where Tanya, Canadian a special education teacher joined us. The three of us then embarked on a pretty massive girlie night. We started at a beautiful bar/restaurant/club called Casablanca that had lots of outdoor seating around fire pits. The night sky was filled with stars so it was a really lovely, slightly glam setting. Anyway, we moved onto the dance floor, but soon after bailed on the whole establishment because it had filled with 16 year old Swedish teenagers making out in very trendy outfits!! Next we went to a karaoke bar, but before my song came up Claire had become involve in a ridiculous altercation and so we moved to a ‘Kenyan’ bar (?). We then went somewhere else and after much action on the dance floor moved back to the Kenyan bar for reasons unknown to me. I had by this time quit drinking because I was famished and the only food options were chicken on a skewer and suspected goat samosas. It was also about 3 am and I was fatigued beyond belief. So.. while the others danced some more, I got into a very extensive debate with some guy about why people who come to Africa to work in development are ridiculous. His points were valid. It was a fairly interesting conversation and he gave me his blog address which I am may check out. It is an interesting pick up tactic.. to begin by completely disregarding someone’s work.

So. 4am. I crashed out on Claire’s floor. And the next day after scraping our brainselves together we met another friend of Claire’s for a delicious lunch (salad- ahhhhhhhhhhhh!) and then got a matatu for the 3 ½ hour journey to Nanyuki. I managed to crash sleep which given the space restrictions was a miracle I was thankful for.

We are staying at the Equator chalet and really this is another spectacular part of Kenya. I will upload the photo of the peak of Mount Kenya covered in snow that presides over the town.

Unfortunately the work day wasn’t terribly successful. While I got to meet the EARC staff and come up with a plan for their service provision next month, none of the parents in Claire’s parent group showed up!! So we headed to this community spinners and weavers (www.spinnersandweaver.org) project to visit their workshop. I ordered two blankets – one for each bed, in the off chance Kisumu’s temperature ever drops below 20 degrees celcius at night. Ha.

Then we headed out of town on a matatu to trout tree farm which was basically a restaurant tree house on a trout farm. The colobus (?) monkeys were playing in the trees and the food (trout pate, avocado, tomato and mozzarella salad, trout chowder) was delicious. It was just such a pretty spot to spend some time. I then napped all afternoon, so I suspect at midnight I am going to be cursing myself.

Saturday February 17th, 2007

Friday night was fabulous. Actually as I previously mentioned my day was pretty good, and it continued that way.

So work… In the morning I went to the special education “resource” room to meet with the teachers. They had previously brought their 8 students to the assessment center one Wednesday. This is our assessment day, so people come from far and wide and it’s fairly mad. We pointed out that seeing as we were located on the same campus, perhaps it would be more appropriate to see the students a different day when we had more time. So. Silas and I headed over to see what it was that the teacher wanted.

Sometimes I get so mad. So internally mad. Not often, but my blood was boiling on Friday and all the venom was directed at one person. This teacher is a trainer for the Kenya Institute for Special Education, he is experienced and apparently is a very knowledgeable man, but basically he is so busy working in Uganda and doing a plethora of other things that his 8 charges do next to nothing. This class is made up of a mix of children all with moderate to profound special needs. Their scheduled school day is only 3 ½ hours long (a bit like Chicago public schools- ha!), yet they board on campus. Term has been going for 6 weeks, but per the teacher he was waiting for us to assess the children so he could know where they are functioning. Bullshit. It is firmly within his realm of responsibilities to baseline his kids at the beginning of the term, some of whom have been at the school for 6 fucking years and have files of pretty impressive length for Kenya. Anyway, so I start to help hgim and his assistant with the assessment and what we are going to do for program planning and he has the audacity to leave and go and meet with someone else. I basically gave him a very polite “I know you are busy, but I am extraordinarily busy and if you don’t want my help, I will leave” speech. Silas was so impressed. Maybe my diplomacy skills are growing by leaps and bounds. (I really just wanted to make him feel thoroughly ashamed for being so neglectful). I also asked him and his assistant give me three strengths and three areas for growth on each child by next Friday and we collected a baseline portfolio sample of the kids written work. But the thing is.. he knows all this, he just doesn’t care. He has better things to do. On a positive note, if the lovely assistant Leonard is doing all the work anyway, perhaps we can boost his skill level. It’s just going to be hard not to be shirty with the teacher who rocks up mid morning and leaves his children to sit and play with themselves. But it was good. The kids are always great. One of the girls is covered in burns but she can get a bilabial seal and can move her mouth/jaw though as she gets older I wonder if the flesh is going to cause oral mobility issues. The burns are so bad she now has a couple of nubs for fingers. Sad.

Anyway. My stroke client also came in, and both her and her husband are delightful, so even though I try to avoid working with adult clients wherever possible, they snuck into my tightly barricaded schedule and we are working on a communication book. I’ll see her weekly when I am in town..

So.. the afternoon was spent having a delightful lunch, doing some computer work and going to the pool. In the evening my houseguests and I met up with the two Peace Corps volunteers I had met through some Dutch doctors in Mumias. The group turned out to be massive. Perhaps 20 of us, and we met for drinks and then at 9pm went to the Simba Club for an Indian buffet. Now, I know I am prone to exaggeration, but this meal was one of the best I have ever eaten in my life. I can’t tell you how fantastic is was.. but I wil try. For about $6 there was a vast array of vegetarian curries and chutneys and everything was mouth watering and amazing. The chilli fish was definitely in the top five things I have ever put in my mouth! It was absurd just how good it was. Unfortunately I ate so much, I couldn’t go out dancing afterwards, and had to abandon drinking entirely.

I also met a couple of girls that live in Kisumu that could be decent company, and a Peace Corp guy that lives very close to me in Migosi. I also met a Canadian girl who is north west of Kisumu towards one of my districts and I liked her immensely and think/hope we can be friends. I also saw a boy across the room and fell in love. Small, dark and handsome. Ha. No. shame really.

So I am enroute to Nairobi. Reading “Jamaica Inn” by Daphne DuMaurier- finally- thanks Liz! Tonight I am going out for Claire’s birthday in the city. My houseguests have their own accommodations and plans and then head into Tanzania. That’s the thing about houseguests, it’s lovely when they come, lovely when they go.

Today has been such a good and productive day.

Busy... I thought I verbally bitch slapped a teacher, but Silas said he was impressed by how "civilized" I was. Ha. Frustrating. The story however is too too long for my current energy level. I am tossing between the pool and a nap. My houseguests were meant to arrive at 3am and didn't get here until today so I slept badly last night.

Amy, Cara, saw a 65 year old lady this morning, who had a stroke and presents with aphasia and right sided hemiplegia.. have several planning questions for you. I will email soon.

I am headed to Nairobi and then Nanyuki, back to Nairobi and Nakuru, so may not be online until next week. My inbox is overflowing with unanswered emails .. I'll get there.. soon. love. b xx

There was much local interest in my Valentine's plans. Given that it was my first more or less single celebration of the ridiculous holiday for seven years and I haven't really done anything special on that date since I moved in with Phil, the ongoing discussions were baffling. But.. Kenyans seemed to think I must have really pulled out all the stops because even today it's the question everyone has for me. To admit that I planned to eat a boiled potato (because it was sprouting) and drink a bottle of red wine, and settled on one single vodka and warm Ribena and making tzatziki for my potato would, I feel, be a disappointing response. (There was actually so much raw garlic in the tzatziki that it was probably all for the best I was alone). But I have to add, Martin (the OT) actually took me out for lunch in Mumias and we had the 'valentine special' which was Dengu, rice and pineapple for desert and it was really one of the best meals I have had for ages. Dengu is like a vegetarian curry made of green grams (a green pea like pulse, but much yummier than peas).

But anyway..

Today.. we hauled ourselves all the way out to Kanyangwal for a mobile assessment clinic to be greeted by exactly no-one. We sat there for close to two hours and then came home. I spent the time watching the cows and goats and sheep and roosters and discussing the kitten Veronica is apparently trying to find me (to take care of the roaches-ha). So I am in Kisumu and headed home to work on my computer. I did upload the play group photos from yesterday. I've decided not to write about it here. I will upload the article I am going to do for VSO's disability newsletter when I get it finished.

b xx

Today was my best day. I went to the coolest playgroup for children with disabilities in a tiny village very far from anywhere, but perhaps 40 miles from the Kenyan/Uganda border. I had so much fun and was moved. People do so much with so little.

Right now however I am tired beyond belief. I need to go home, take off the baby drool covered shirt and make myself a bucket bath. So I will upload the pictures tomorrow and write more then.

Hooray. What a wonderful way to spend Valentine's day.. surrounded by caregivers and their special needs infants. That's love.

b xx

(email: beastaley@gmail.com)

Monday 12th February, 2007

My cousin emailed to say that my last entry was a bit Bridget Jonesesque. Well fine. I confess I do stand on the scales everyday. But I drink less than her and definitely date less than her. My romances are pretty much limited to texts and short conversations. But the weight thing.. I actually eat a better and more varied diet than ever before, I just eat less. Typically I have a snack in the morning and a big feed mid afternoon and that is it. Today for example I had a juice when I arrived at work, a yoghurt and 2 muffins while waiting for the customs guy at the post office. A mango when I got home and now 5pm I am about to eat several roma tomatoes, one zucchini and one small onion, peeled, diced and sautéed over 3 handfuls of bow-tie pasta. Far too much information. No one cares, but my dietician sister might. Anyway. My houseguests were making fun of me that I lacked a fan and some other seemingly basic necessities yet I had purchased a scale. I should have charged them rent.

So anyway back to Bridget.. Sunday really was just one of those days. When I got to the pool in my very small badly selected bathing costume, I found it to be throbbing with only men and children. I had approximately 20 cm2 of material covering my flesh. Anyway. When two British girls arrived in considerably more modest suits, I jumped in with them until my vegetable curry and beers arrived which was the whole impetus for my being there. I then went and changed in the hotel lobby bathroom simultaneously loading my purse with free condoms for no particularly good reason other than they were free. Sure enough, I go to get on the back of the boda boda and they fly out of my bag. I felt like I was about 15. The boda boda driver didn’t make any comment other than to say “pole” (sorry) and waited until we got into town to ask for my number. Super.

The main issue i have with the above scenario is there are a lot of people that make it their business to know about me and word gets around. For example, my landlord who lives in South Nyanza informed me yesterday that I had I had friends in town. But I think it’s the Kenyan way. If it’s my business it is their business. There is no separation between the two.

My coordinator asked me if I wanted to know what everyone in the neighborhood said about me. She lives there too and my housekeeper is quite tight with her sister I think. So I said yes. Who wouldn’t? But it was dissapointing. “They think” says Veronica “that one. You are very beautiful. Very very beautiful” (keep in mind most people think Claire and I are the same person. I might also be the same person as another white girl that works at Joylands, and apparently another called Lucy. Furthermore she is particularly stuck on the idea of my beauty because the deaf kids gave me a name sign which translates to ‘beautiful white person’). “Two, you are very very smart and three you are very well dressed” (it’s my parade of skirts). Clearly I need to be doing something more exciting if that’s all they could come up with.

There is a on old guy in the neighborhood, I think he mends shoes, who says daily “How are you my daughter, I love you like fish love water” while everyone else on the street cracks up. Who wouldn’t want to live in Kenya?

I am traveling the next couple of weeks anyway so maybe that will add some intrigue to the situation. My housekeeper is going to stay in my house when I am away and I must say it’s a pretty sweet deal for her, because she currently shares a room the size of my hallway with a bunch of family and if my schedule pans out the way it looks like it will, she will be living here every second month.

So.. I do have more serious issues on my mind, like why no one around here seems to give a shit about malaria and all the NGO’s are working only with HIV. I know there must be a sensible answer to this question but I haven’t found it yet. Every second person is falling down with malaria and yet no one is on prophalactics or sleeps under mosquito nets as far as I can tell. More on this later. I had a rather unimpressive visit to AMREF, but I am going to pose my questions to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) who are also apparently focused on community based HIV education. I realize that it is a needy area but honestly.

I am headed to Vihigia tomorrow. I am to meet the coordinator who apparently everyone knows embezzles all the money and his staff who do a good job in spite of it all. Wednesday I will accompany Martin in Mumias to his community play group. Thursday is a community assessment day and Friday.. well that all depends on several factors none of which I will bore you with.

I have new music today. Two separate packages came containing several CD’s. Something else also came but the head teacher couldn’t locate it. I am so excited and thrilled by what I did receive. Speaking of good things I have also decided to start saying good night prayers (inspired by Angie Brickner).. actually Deepak Chopra’s heart meditation considers it taking stock of blessings, but I digress. The primary reason for the change is sleep. It puts me straight to sleep. Hallelujah.

I have a big post written about my week.. but alas. I can't get the document to open. blasted. aaahh. i thought of a trick. I will email it to myself and open the attachment. Hurrah.

So it's Sunday. I have spent the morning creating stationery which some of you may be lucky enough to hold in your hands in the not so distant future. I think people should know I am very self congradulatory these days (as recent travel companions noted). It's just that the universe is really proving to be on my side. Okay well it hasn't really sent me an abundance of fun friends to drink with (or any), but my post has started to arrive and lo and behold the envelopes contain VERY VERY USEFUL things that I swear I haven't seen since 2004 and yet the information is JUST WHAT I NEED for my upcoming training.. which has since expanded to cover staff from another 10 districts (did I already mention that).

Speaking of friends. I was considering inviting my tuk-tuk driver to the movies. I would pay for the show if he would pick me up and drop me off. then I considered that this would seem awfully like a date.

I am taking things into my own hands. I am spending next weekend and the following week with Claire. We are joining forces, and I will be visiting a new district and hopefully meeting the womens health professional group based in Nairobi. Anyway.. here's the post.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
This week I went to Kakamega. As I understand it the Kakamega forest is a tract of virgin rainforest. It is also the only remaining piece of an environment that used to span the African equator. A couple of hours from Kisumu in the hills, it is considerably breezier and a nice place to go to get away from the buzz of the town. I’d like to say I did something great there. I didn’t. Took a few gentle walks. Including one to see a sunrise. Enjoyed the clear night and plethora of stars peeking through the leaves. The cheap accommodation and meals were less than I’d hoped. I need pampering. My companions tell me I am a princess. It's all true. But I still love my bucket bath.

Anyway I returned Friday. Travel home consisted of – the back of a pickup loaded with bags of maize, spine shaking boda-boda and matatu. An exhausting and dirty business.

Saturday I did chores. Picked up my bed (I had to have an 2 feet cut off the width – I stupidly ordered a 6x6 foot bed and when I saw it realized it would basically consume the room), some small benches and met an ex-volunteer for breakfast. I had my landlord remove an extraneous door, re-build the new bed in my spare room and fix a light. Met with someone to have new chair and sofa cushion covers made to match my rather smashing curtains. Mundane shit. I napped. I read. Had a long chat with Phil. The hours trickle by. The work I should be doing on my computer has been evading me this week. I had hoped Kakamega would do the trick.

Upcoming excitement: I am in Kisumu at Joylands on Monday, Vihigia district on Tuesday, Mumias district on Wednesday and then plan to go to Nairobi at the end of the week via Nakuru and Kijabe hospital. I think the following week I will trail Claire around Laikipia district. VSO has changed the in-country training to March, but I still need to come east for meetings. Phone conversations about my work are not particularly successful endeavors. I catch about 3 of every 5 words and feel the need to summarize what I think I have heard every five minutes. I have about a 50/50 success rate. The 6 hour bus trip will be less frustrating.

I am uninspired this weekend. Maybe I just need a good night out?? I DO NEED A GOOD NIGHT OUT. But on a bright note I am now at 55kg. hooray hooray hooray. And not an upset stomach to speak of.

Hello. I am very hot and sticky tonight and email is sssssllllooooooooooow. I haven't had a chance to check/blog/email/respond the last couple of days. I actually went up to Kakamega yesterday. But.. I am in no mood to write. I will type up an epic description of my week from home and upload it this weekend. Yes. That seems preferable to trying my hand at humor or wit or just plain accurate description. Tired. It's funny how the journeying can really wipe me out. It makes me weary like I've not previously known. I did catch a ride in the back of pickup loaded with sacks of maize today. Well doesn't that whet your appetite for the story?

.. started "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer (thanks Steph)and so I know what I am going to be doing for much of my weekend.

Soon. love. b

I am going to start today by saying how impressed I am by my colleagues. Consistently. Veronica is 55, Gordon 45, Silas 53 and these three have no qualms about straddling bikes in their suits, getting in the back of trucks or as today proved trekking through muddy slums by foot. And they do it with humor. What's more.. whenever Veronica signs the visitors book she signs "Keep Up!" which amuses me, because what I think what she means is 'keep it up' and in keep up the good work, but when it comes to her, "Keep Up!" is probably more apt. Anyway .. yesterday.

I went up to Butere-Mumias Monday morning which was a lovely three hour jaunt into the west or western district (not so far from the Ugandan border). This is sugar cane country. The EARC center is based in Mumias and they have a very active program and a district that has been essentially split into two, but they are covering both sides for the time being. There are four staff at that site, one of whom is an occupational therapist (OT). They assess children interestingly enough as a team. This may be partially due to the lack of space. Apparently a school took over their EARC building and they now have only one room in a district education building. This was the first assessment center I saw that had interesting toys for the children to interact with and I am fairly impressed with the work already occurring there. This little boy was so sad to part with this Fisher Price thing that made sounds. His face began to crumble as he realised that they were leaving and the toy was not coming with.

Now in Kisumu they speak Luor (sp?) which is more like English than Swahili. In Mumias they speak a different language, the name escapes me. But when you listen to assessments they will code switch between languages the entire time. I mention this, because I was observing an assessment and one of the EARC staff said "we want to adapt the environment for the child, not change the child for the environment" in English in the midst of what was clearly the team trying to persuade the boy's mother to put him in school. And I thought. I have been trying to think of a succinct way to say just that for years. And here it is.

So.. in Butere-Mumias I will work with 10 schools, 2 community groups, early childhood teachers and finally train their OT's and perhaps Physical Therapists's (PT's) in speech stuff. Not all in the next term, but over 2007 and into 2008. I am so buoyed by their plan and organization and spirit and suggestions. I also visited the local hospital where the PT department is. And I must say it was lovely. Light breezy, nary a bad scent on ward. Compared to Swaziland, a paradise. They described the maternity ward as the 'production unit.' Ha. I like the Kenyan sense of humor.

Today however was a whole other kettle of fish. I saw my first school that I was literally grossed out by. The words shit-hole come to mind, but maybe fetid swamp is more accurate. Let's keep in mind this is dry season (and granted it has been pretty bloody wet) but this place was a bog. The whole school looks like it is going to be swallowed by mud. Add to that the fact you get to it via dirt track through a slum.. no wonder parents don't want to get referred there. They have a hearing impaired unit that we send kids to and although the school is abyssmal.. the classrooms were very nice and actually had some supplies. One room I peeked in was not so lucky. I think there were 95 small children in this room, because the room half of them were supposed to be in was uninhabitable. We couldn't do the audiometric testing we came to do, because there is no electricity. As it turns out.. even when there is electricity they don't get it becuase someone vandalized their wires.

I felt that I couldn't in good conscience refer kids there, but Veronica is very concerned that the unit remain open because if not, then there will be nowhere local to send children. Clearly those who can afford it board their hearing impaired kids in Nairobi or at Maseno Special. On a bright note. The special units as they are called were doing math activities with bottle caps, they had some toys, one room had a pile of mud with things growing in it in the corner - a "farm" with all the different farm things labelled (yay!) - and a shelf of empty packaging.. which I clearly took to be an attempt at a housekeeping area bless them.

Must fly. Big love to everyone. b

February 3, 2007

So.. where was I?

Friday I went out to Maseno-Ratta for a mobile assessment clinic. Maseno is an area I suspect I will find myself in often. About 30 minutes towards Busia (on the Ugadan border) by matatu, Maseno is the location of a university and two of the eight Kisumu area schools I will serve. In addition two of the three community based rehab groups are out this way. So.. I left home at 7:30 am (reluctantly- I never expected to have to get to work so early.. this isn’t the Africa I remember!!) and headed out.. took the matatu, met my colleagues, waited for some students who were joining us and then en masse we boarded boda-bodas (bikes with cushions on the back). I can’t help grinning whenever there is a big group of people going somewhere on the back of bikes. It’s such a funny sight. Anyway.. once again, we were in rural Kenya. Small farms and huts amidst lush greenery. Quality of life for poor Kenyans is certainly much better than that of many other people living in poverty. They are blessed with space and fresh produce, and right now plenty of water.. though this area is known for it’s fertile lands. On a less blessed not are those we saw at the clinic (which was really just an empty school room).

The difficulty with community clinics is.. you know where these families live and in the case of Maseno-Ratta there just isn’t anywhere to refer them. We met a blind 16 year old, and though there is a blind-deaf program nearby, she needs to lose another sense to qualify. We saw a few kids who really just needed to go to a doctor, and many who needed to be seen by someone about deformed legs and feet which I seem to recall from working with Amy Ross in Swaziland can be fixed with physio and binding to straighten the foot out (I am sure that is a massive oversimplification.. but I think it is all treatable). It was funny though, one of the students was writing out a referral for speech therapy and I asked him where he was referring the child to (I was interested!) and he was writing it out for me! I did point out that as I was here, perhaps a formal referral letter was a bit excessive. But, these students are very well meaning and they will be special education teachers next year so we are trying to nurture them as much as possible.

The saddest saddest case was a 13 year old boy who at first appearances you might think was autistic. However I think he is just so mentally retarded that he can’t function independently on any sort of level (no speech, not able to walk). Amongst the problems is that fact that mum is carrying him everywhere and of course he is heavy! Mum sat there and wept through the whole meeting, but interestingly enough the boy noticed. He didn’t appear to have the cognitive capacity to respond to his mother’s sadness but he definitely noticed it and just stared and stared at her which was the only volitional eye gaze I could detect. Mum is frustrated because any special education units have turned him away because he isn’t toilet trained and can’t feed himself. I suspect she is also just tired. We are going to do a home visit to assess how we can help with his feeding, maybe even an adapted cup or bottle would ease the meal time. We might also get him a wheelchair or a cart but it depends on the terrain around their home. The problem with home visits is she is likely to make special food which won’t help us problem solve the situation.. we reiterated several times that we were not coming as guests. The whole going to people’s homes makes my stomach drop. Mainly because I know they want to feed us and it’s the last thing I want. It’s usually also awfully sad at a bone ache sort of level. It’s amazing what humans can endure. Especially when you consider this is peaceful existence and it’s hard, let alone those in similar situation who are dealing with friction.

Speaking of which. Kenya’s elections are scheduled for this year. So we have all been forewarned to expect an escalation in violence as November approaches. The main party that won in the last election has splintered into factions. The top people are basically duking it out for power and as I understand it are appealing to their ethnic groups for support. So technically in Kisumu, most people are all Luor so should all be supporting the same candidate, but it isn’t that simple. It doesn’t place me in any sort of danger, it just means Kenya will be in the international news increasingly because of these skirmishes. I actually read the newspaper pretty regularly, but political information has very little retention power in my brain. Nonsense about seatbelt laws and which bus company is in trouble for some minor infraction however stays around for weeks and bubbles out at ridiculous times!! Talking about election though the Kenyans are very excited about Barack Obama.

Oh and a final word about community outreach… we take boda bodas out there, but of course there are none when we want to leave so we pretty much have to make the hour or so trek back by foot. Saunter perhaps is a better descriptor. But I generally spend the time thinking about all the things I like about Kenya!!

So. I have spent my weekend working on a final report for Leap, reading, napping and cooking. I bought black beans at the market Friday and actually soaked and cooked them and had them with rice, green pepper, onion, tomato and some cilantro. Not as tasty as I hoped. Need to get some hot peppers next time. And oh how I miss cheese. But yesterday.. had the best fish sandwich I have ever eaten (yay ra) and chatted to a German girl. We ended up going out to a bar.. there were plans for dancing but quizzically the lady who looks out for me (actually she also cleans my house, collects my water and does my washing too) told me I either needed to come home at 11pm or not until the morning!! What the hell sort of advice is that? If you aren’t coming home until late, don’t bother? What did she think I was going to do all night? So I concurred and came home at 11:30ish. And I wore my fabulous wedges. A last minute packing addition, and I was very glad for them too. It’s nice to have one pair of going out shoes.

It’s Sunday. My now designated pool day but I don't think I will make it. Spent most of the day futzing around in attempts to be crafty. I am embarrassed to explain further. Headed to Butere-Mumias in the morning. Be back online Wednesday.. oh and I uploaded some pics. Fairly terrible, but I couldn't see what was on the stick to choose from. ha. b

Hello. It is so blinkin hot today.. but for some ridiculous reason I put on a pile of clothing.

So in answer to some questions:
- a boda boda is a bike with a cushion on the back, and they dink you for a small price. Very common and we use them to get to sites. Unfortunately it has been very wet, and they can't go in the mud. I can't ride the motorbike until I do the Kenyan motorcycle weekend.
- I do pretty much only work with kids with disabilities or CWD's (because this project makes everything an acronym). As language in not something concrete and tangible, and there are no formal assessment protocols...the child has to literally not speak, or be completely unintelligible to be referred. To date I have answered the question "but will my child ever talk" more times than I would like to have considered. What do I say? "I can't tell you that" ha.
and then "it really all depends..."
- curtain colors.. my room white with green flowers, spare room green. living room, I think I have decided on an aqua african print (it's not my favorite but will match the walls). the hall, white and blue cool print. the door cream, navy and blue cool print. I am looking for matching materials for the closets in the two bedrooms. Have also got around to getting a book case made and another bed. It's funny but I was standing debating between a single and double bed for a ridiculous amount of time today when it occurred to me I was pondering a $25 price difference. It's amazing how quick your brain calibrates to relative costs. The house is good. The geckos continue to scare the living daylights out of me periodically by popping up in unexpected places. I have a truce on most mosquitos, roaches, flying bugs and ants except when they are blatantly disrespectful of my immediate personal space.

As for current life.. Today I had a phone meeting and then went out to another school. We have tentatively scheduled the 5 day teacher training for early March and most of my work will be prepping for that "performance piece." Tomorrow I will be at a community site doing assessments. Only a couple of weeks until I head back to Nairobi and may actually remain there for 3 weeks or so until after the training. This term is going to go so fast.

So tired. Think perhaps the vegan diet I accidentally find myself on is contributing. Maybe I will go and buy a yoghurt. b